A couple month's ago, I went to this party in Vegas with my main squeeze M.I.A. to celebrate my boy's birthday. There was a rack a celebs there but I'm not one to name drop. Everyone was enjoying themselves and the atmosphere was really nice. Not to mention it was an open bar so everyone was getting s**ty. The night started to wind down around 4AM so me and M.I.A. decided to go grab a bite to eat with some friends before we went back to our hotel room for a night-cap. Me and shorty try to keep our relationship on the low for the most part but we were both extremely intoxicated so PDA was at an all time high. She repeatedly asked if I was ready to go while simultaneously "eye f**king" the s**t outta me. I got the hint so I payed for everyone's food and went outside to hail a cab.
When we got back to the hotel room it was no secret what was about to go down. I told her that I needed to hit the bathroom real quick and that I'd be right back. While inside the bathroom, I took a quick dump cuz I had been drinking dark liquor and for some reason it just runs right through me. After that, I grabbed a jimmy hat and made the power move of a lifetime. With a safety pin, I poked a tiny hole right in the middle of it. This is not at all in my character, but this entire story is a lie so why not.
When I came out of the bathroom she was climbing on top of the bed wearing nothing but socks. I hate having sex with socks on or with someone who has socks on (that's actually true, look it up) so I made her take them off. After that though, we made sweet sweet love for like 20 minutes. I usually go for hours but I'm no good when I'm drunk (also true). The last thought I had before we both passed out was that by some chance, poking that tiny hole worked.
Well ladies and gentleman, it did!
M.I.A's pregnant.
When we got back to the hotel room it was no secret what was about to go down. I told her that I needed to hit the bathroom real quick and that I'd be right back. While inside the bathroom, I took a quick dump cuz I had been drinking dark liquor and for some reason it just runs right through me. After that, I grabbed a jimmy hat and made the power move of a lifetime. With a safety pin, I poked a tiny hole right in the middle of it. This is not at all in my character, but this entire story is a lie so why not.
When I came out of the bathroom she was climbing on top of the bed wearing nothing but socks. I hate having sex with socks on or with someone who has socks on (that's actually true, look it up) so I made her take them off. After that though, we made sweet sweet love for like 20 minutes. I usually go for hours but I'm no good when I'm drunk (also true). The last thought I had before we both passed out was that by some chance, poking that tiny hole worked.
Well ladies and gentleman, it did!
M.I.A's pregnant.
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1 the walls CAN talk:
you fooled me.
:p
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