Okay, so here's the deal. I honestly don't like making my posts personal but I do feel compelled to share certain things from time-to-time. I don't know why I do it and I'm not even sure if this post will make it through the day but whatever. I'll more than likely take it down after the first ignorant or judgemental comment. Not that I can't handle it, I just try to keep my blog negativity-free... that's what real life is for.So like I said in "New Deep", I'm making some serious changes in the type of person that I am and where my morals lie. I make things difficult for myself which shouldn't be too big of an issue for others (its just stupid), except my mistakes often end up hurting other people. I sincerely apologize for that. There's no reason why my problems should be your's, too. Not to mention the fact that I was confusing the hell out of myself because I was trying to be Mr. Incredible to everyone but me.
Through all of my lies and deciet though, there is a great deal of truth that came through also. I say that to say this:
If you feel like I'll be unsuccessful in bettering myself and becoming a more respectful/respectable man... that's perfectly fine with me. I take full responsibilty for you feeling that way and you're more than like completely justified in your opinion. Because quite frankly, you have no f**kin' idea who I am behind all of my daily conflict and confusion. I figure its either because I didn't care to show you that person, you were too blind to see, or its really just to difficult to tell what's real (again, my fault).
This post is really in response to all the "F**k you" and "You ain't s**t" messages I've been getting lately. How do I put this... Ummm, duh.
Had you asked me I could have told you that. But don't fool yourself into thinking I'm incapable of cleaning the feces off the wall now that it's hit the fan. And please don't think I'm begging you for your help. I could probably do it by myself... but luckily I don't have to.
First and foremost, I have God. Think what you want about that one but my personal relationship with him is just that. Pesonal.
Secondly, I have my best friend. When everyone's realized that they're sick of me, he'll still be around. I don't know why but I do know that I'd be in bad shape without him. He knows who I am and is actually willing to see me through the process of reaching my full potential. Dig?
So this song is dedicated to Mr. Young. And as for the people that I've forced to have to say goodbye, I truly am sorry and I wish I had given you all of me.
You probably would've liked him.
"My best friend told me,
'You be actin' tough, that's fine.
But the weight of the world can really crush one's mind.
So let it out C, let it out C, let it out C, let it out C.
You won't even know you hurt sometimes,
until you in conversation it comes out in ya lines
so let it out C, let it out C,
let it out C, my nigga let it out.'"
"My best friend told me,
'You be actin' tough, that's fine.
But the weight of the world can really crush one's mind.
So let it out C, let it out C, let it out C, let it out C.
You won't even know you hurt sometimes,
until you in conversation it comes out in ya lines
so let it out C, let it out C,
let it out C, my nigga let it out.'"
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3 the walls CAN talk:
"Success is tangible, don't wait for fame. I thought you would receive it better if I aint say ya name. You unsure of yourself, sit still and think. Review those actions, if it fits- put your name in the blank."
This was my theme song some time last year. My lines were a little different, "P" was "B" for me, clearly it's "C" for you.
Anywho:
"Wishing you the best, pray that you are blessed-lots of success, no stress, and lots of happiness."
If the others around you don't wish you well or use their company for positive reasons, get rid of them. You can do bad by yourself. We all can. With that being said: "How sick I am I, I wish you health." (This isn't one of those times where the source needs to be sited)
:) Bo
since after reading the blog i was going to ay the same thing as B I'm not goin to repeat it.
This is me just saying "Ditto."
"They were given help against them, and the Hagrites or Ishmaelites were delivered into their hands, and all who were allied with them, for they cried to God in the battle; and He granted their entreaty, because they relied on, clung to, and trusted in Him." -1 Chronicles 5:20
All you have to do is believe in him. He is the key to winning and coping with all battles.
but chris... i love you... what about me??
jk. hope you're chillin, and i need to see u soon nigga.
LOVE$
j
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